become a trusted person for everyone to confide in
There are signs in a person's personality that are often trusted and confided in by others; these are empathy, generosity, and openness. These traits implicitly suggest that it will be someone everyone will automatically turn to when things go wrong.
Often, for us, no matter how much we intend to comfort someone, they often don't think so. If we ask them directly what the problem is, they will just try to be cheerful and affirm that everything is fine. Everyone knows it's a lie, but they don't seem to have any intention of opening up to us. Finally, we are lonely because we are not trusted and feel a little helpless because we cannot help them.
There are plenty of good reasons why people tend to be extremely careful before opening up. A confidant can be supportive, empathetic but can also become wary, frightened or weak in front of us. And these things can embarrass us to confide in someone if they can't empathize with us. To dare to speak out, we need to have a strong belief that our companion will be one who is understanding, gentle and kind. But knowing is one thing, doing it or not is another. Even if we are willing to be a truly understanding, gentle, and kind confidant, how do we let others know our abilities so they can confide in them?
Obviously, the most recognizable way is through speaking directly. We can say, 'Don't worry, I'm not going to judge you!' or simply say, 'You can tell me, I understand your situation!'. Such statements, however, generally can't help because they don't touch people's core fears — because they're not sure that even if we say it's okay — the incident they're about to tell can still make us feel fear or disgust with them.
There are also more advanced ways you can become someone others trust and can confide in. However, it requires you to have a greater level of courage. Because it involves you needing to admit something difficult, troubling, and embarrassing about yourself. By letting others know some of your weaknesses as such, you will also let them share some of the things that they fear in life. This method can be understood because our revelation shows how scary a secret we ourselves are and also feel scared by other people's reactions to it, so it's okay to just confide in me. This is much more effective than declaring how trustworthy we are with just a few sentences. In this way, you show that: I will not react harshly to your problems because I believe that you will not do the same to me, there is empathy and understanding between us.
The trust-building process usually works in a stepped fashion: I reveal a small and not-so-terrible truth about me, and then you'll start sharing a little bit about what's happening to you. So, when we take a bolder step than admitting something awkward, it's time to make others feel secure opening their hearts.
Of course, to show that we are empathetic confidants, we must point out our weaknesses and shortcomings: tell of failures. So others can easily tell us about their failures.
We've been hurt before, so they can admit to being hurt. Let's admit the fact that we've done and done very stupid things, so we won't turn our backs on people who have also behaved in very silly ways.
To be a good companion, it is not enough to simply be polite or appear satisfied. We need to take risks.
Sometimes we need to share our secrets with our friends. Or something they can use against us — so they can feel safe and not overly guarded when talking to us, telling us their secrets. Under this dangerous label of exchanging sensitive information, true trust and friendship can then flourish.
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