The Importance of Genuine Hearts in Relationships

When the heart is not genuine, we cannot grasp true love and happiness.

Our tendency to please each other is often driven further and further away from the truth. Performances always happen in preliminary relationships or in quick encounters. Of course, when we dress properly to receive guests, or speak softly and modestly to our superiors, it is a way of showing respect for others. We call it culture. But that becomes a "culture of cover-up" if we only aim to gain appreciation or sympathy for us. The selfish entitlement masked by kindness can only produce momentary feelings of satisfaction. It can only meet the needs of barter, not establish good long-term relationships. Because being true to each other is the true attitude of mutual respect.

Also because we allow our lives to sink into enjoyment, we often don't have much time to observe and understand each object when we come into contact. It is largely by looking at their dress, manners or display of knowledge that we infer their qualities. Therefore, never before have people focused on form like now. On the street, we always dress elegantly and put on a big smile so that others look at us to think that we are successful or very happy, even though the reality is completely opposite. For me, as long as someone admires and admires me, I already feel very happy. Because at least we get a good feeling to see that our lives are more valuable. Not to mention, thanks to such spectacular performances, we can conquer important figures to strengthen our status or have more business relationships. Therefore, it is now difficult to distinguish between real and fake. Because everyone buys themselves sophisticated masks to deal with each other. Sincerity and friendliness are suspicious and defensive.

Even with loved ones, we don't stop coping. Because we always want to be valuable in their eyes, we must try to cover up our weaknesses. Once, musician Trinh Cong Son begged: "The waves don't push me / Don't show me all my heart." Seeing each other's true selves, we may not dare to love each other anymore. But those are just minutes of passion, love overwhelms love, so we just want to come together to enjoy the good and the beautiful and stay away from the bad or not. With true love, we need to go beyond the narrow view of temporary manifestations to see each other's totality. The better we get to know each other, the better we know how to give and share with each other properly. Therefore, from the beginning of our acquaintance to our deep attachment, we must stay true to each other in order to eliminate illusions about each other, to help each other clearly define the purpose of coming together. As a result, we don't get into the habit of enjoying emotions that are too good for both of us to create forever. There have been so many love boats that have just set sail that have fallen apart due to disillusionment with each other.

Life sometimes forces us to act. Not knowing how to act is naïve, is self-declaring failure, because we are always surrounded by many competitors. But there are roles that last for years, making us live in that role and forget who we really are. In fact, no one has the right to compel us to act, if we do not place our happiness too much in favour of circumstances, or if we do not want to barter with material comforts or titles. It is only when we no longer have the strength to fight, or when we are shocked to awaken to the fragile happiness we have worked so hard to grasp, that we awaken and urgently find our true selves.

Many people have written poems and very touching songs expressing the desire to return to the sky of childhood, to immerse themselves in the village in nature, to be close to relatives and friends without suspicion of anyone or hatred. They even want to be foolish enough to follow others without having to be clever. That dream is not too far-fetched, but sometimes it is just a dream. Because not everyone has the courage to find and live with their true self. Because they are afraid to confront the torturous pains of habit directly, and to learn to live with new sensations like an incomparable, demanding child. It was a fierce fight. The winner must have great determination along with a very practical method of transformation. And the main condition is to separate the "stage of life".

Saying "cover-up culture" is just a euphemism for word abuse, a sour expression of sarcasm for a fetishistic lifestyle of formality and falsehood. Because culture is inherently a way of life that makes people more beautiful and better. But if beauty and goodness do not go hand in hand with the real, like the inseparable triad of "truthfulness-goodness-beauty", then it is only superficial, temporary jewelry. It's certainly not the path to lasting happiness.

The old saying, "Good shows, bad covers," is to remind us to respect each other's feelings. Whether we're angry with others or struggling, we have to stop our bad energy. In addition, we have a responsibility to show good energy to the person we are with. It is following the law of emotional balance: The other person who gives us a good emotion must give a good emotion in return. Although the contact person is a very dear person, if we feel that we still have enough strength to overcome our own difficulties, we try to bear it ourselves so as not to cause them trouble or suffering. Of course, if the person is very steady, we can still ask them for help, asking them to allow us to fully express our pain. That's the wisdom needed.

But the ancients also advised, "Good cover, bad show," to remind us to try to practice humility, not to show our superior talents to pressure or overwhelm others. Or when we know that the other person is superficial and very dependent on others, we resolve not to create more opportunities to entangle them but to cultivate shallow habits. Dare to use this method must be a person with great bravery, not afraid of others underestimating or despising him. That's because we don't put our lives outside. We have a strong spirit and always believe that what belongs to us will shine brightly along the way.

In fact, the policy of experienced beings also only wants to help us always return to mental training and bring practical benefits to everyone around us. Therefore, neither covering up nor being real is for the purpose of satisfying the ego. Young people now also consider themselves real. However, they seek freedom by living with the instinct to do whatever they want, regardless of the consequences for themselves or offensive and annoying to others. They are very interested in bragging in public about what they consider valuable, even if it only provokes people's desire, jealousy, and exasperation. Those guys are pitiful. The more they try to prove it, the more they lose themselves. Because they still do not know what is the true value of themselves and life.

Once, I walked with a young doctor on a snowy road. Sometimes I would remind him to pay attention to his footsteps because the road was slippery, and each time he would reply, "Little thing!" But not far away he slipped and fell. When I turned to offer my hand to support him, he refused again. It took him five minutes to get up. I asked if it was okay and he appeared sober, saying he wasn't harmed. Taking a few steps I turned around to check, seeing that one of his legs had limped. I said half-jokingly, "The doctor has to fall and hurt too!" A few days later I called to check on him, he seemed upset and said that he had forgotten about the fall the other day. But two weeks later, I learned that he had to be hospitalized for surgery because his leg bone had been broken. When I went to the hospital to visit, he was a little apprehensive and tried to say, "It's okay, it's just a small accident. Everyone has to be in an accident at least once." I smiled and said, "Accidents are suffered by everyone, but the attitude to receive accidents depends on each person's understanding." Three months later, he wrote me a letter confessing that he was not in the habit of accepting that he was weak, much less that he did not want to be perceived as weak by others. Though at times it was his habit of covering up that caused him to fail miserably. But the accident brought him to his senses, so he wrote: "Yes, the doctor must fall and hurt!"

For a while, let's try to get away from the noisy city and put behind plans, projects or responsibilities that need to be done. We return to deep contact with nature and with what is around us. There, we don't need to wear any masks, we don't need to play any roles, we don't need to dictate whether we should do this or that to be new or beautiful. At that moment, we will find our hearts so light as if we had just shed a thousand pounds, the space around us suddenly became infinitely large. And we will no longer see a huge disparity between the self we were once proud of and everything around us. The person we are right then is the most wonderful body.

People are here in heaven and earth to live a relaxed and happy life, to understand their own identity and discover the mysteries of life, to take refuge and harmony together, not to fight more than lose with each other. But because of misperception, people have made enjoyment the highest purpose of life. Since then, we have built countless stages and countless roles to put each other into tons of illusory happiness. Even at the minute of death, many people have not found true value. They were still trying to tell the one who stayed to take their place.

But the time to find peace of mind in such a quiet space is often very short-lived. The more we face ourselves, the more bewildered we become because we cannot recognize in the manifestations of our mind what is real and what is molded by us. Our habit of flexing, style, cover-up, evasion still dogged us, even though we had no object to deal with. In fact, it is we who are the most feared. It's not easy to accept the darkness in our hearts as a part of us, so we force it to always be good. Without understanding our hearts, we will forever continue to be slaves to our own disturbing emotions. Indeed, each role has brought us quite a bit of satisfaction, but looking closely, those are the times when we have pushed ourselves into dreams. When the heart is not genuine, we cannot grasp true love and happiness. That's a very high price we pay for our trips to the point of risking our meaningful lives.

We finally realize that only we are responsible for our lives. When we lie on our deathbed or confront bitter failures, we see the estrangement of life's stage. But we can't blame anyone, because we chose the lead role for our own script. Therefore, returning to let go of the cover-up techniques to return the truth to life is a very essential need, but also the responsibility of each person. While we can't stop and transform all of our age-old habits, we can at least see every layer of our acting clearly. Whenever we feel tired or don't feel the need to act anymore, we try to get back to being real. Starting to live truly means that we begin to give up our feelings of delusion, locate ourselves in the middle of heaven and earth, and officially re-establish our relationship with everything around us. Only with this attitude can we hope to embark on a path of true transformation towards sustainable freedom.

However, we must also be careful because disturbing emotions are inherently subtle and complex. Sometimes we think we're very real, but there's still a lot of cover inside. We have to wait until the right adversity comes knocking before we see all of our truth. Therefore, we should only trust our minds when we really no longer chase circumstances in search of happiness. But nonetheless, determined to live honestly, we have already stepped on the right path.

Poor wound I
have to pay for life
Please go back to take care
of Tell me to give up the game.

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