The Reciprocity of Giving Gifts

Because he is also for himself and because he is also for him, because there are no distinct boundaries between himself and others.

When we give a gift to someone, we often think of ourselves as their benefactor. Because that gift, whether it has material or spiritual value, contributes to making them happier and happier. In general, I think they owe us a good feeling. But if we genuinely want to give and they refuse because they are full, or because they don't want to be indebted to us, or because they are no longer here to receive it, then the idea of giving will not be possible. Therefore, the giver also needs the receiver, not just the receiver needs the giver. And so, not only must the recipient thank the giver, but the giver must also thank the recipient. Because both are necessary conditions for each other. This may sound strange, but it is a very obvious fact to create a balance between the relationships in the universe.

When we give gifts that we love very much, or have put a lot of effort into making, and that gift is truly useful to the other person, not only do we help them to be happier and happier, but we also receive a compensatory energy from the universe. Although we only want to help and nothing else, the energy released from the mind plus the value of the gift connects with energy sources of the same frequency in the universe, in response to a good effect. The effect may be immediate, but it may not be until generations later that it qualifies for completion. And even if the gift of donation is not something we love, or is not of our own making, nor of practical benefit to the other person, we still receive a great deal of reciprocation. Because I had the good will to help.

Another fact. From the time we develop the idea of wanting to donate, throughout the donation process and all the way after, we have no discriminatory attitude of choice or disregard for the object, no desire for them to give back, and never feel proud that we have done a good deed, then we will receive all the repaying energy of the universe. That response is sometimes multiplied. Because it is a pure donation, purely for the object and not interfering with one's own interests. And if we choose only our favorite object to donate, or we always expect the other person to give us credit even if we reciprocate it with respect, or we always feel noble for having done a good deed, then the repaying energy of the universe also happens. However, it is very weak.

In cases where we borrow this object to burnish our name, or to do blessing in the hope that our lives will be safer and happier, or to find our worth after catastrophic failures in life, then we get only a little energy from the precious gift we sent. What is unexpected is that if thanks to that form of donation, we get a lot of benefits, then we have borrowed from the other person an emotional debt. Unbeknownst to them, the universe will have an obligation to take our back in one way or another to give it back to them. Thus, giving is also receiving, which can also become debt. It all depends on our minds. That's why there are so many diligent people doing the work of helping, but their lives have never been better. Even more, the more they help, the darker their lives become.

One more miraculous fact. When we give with all our hearts, giving a gift that is truly precious to us and brings useful value to the other person, not only will the universe pay back, but the energy in the recipient will automatically be attracted to the giver according to the "law of emotional balance". The balance depends on the conception of the value of the gift and the meaning of the gift between two people. If the recipient no longer has enough stored energy to respond, the universe still accepts the debt. As long as they accumulate new energy, the universe will continue to shrink to send to us until equilibrium. Miraculously, gratitude, respect, or love are the most valuable sources of energy to strike a balance. For it is born from the foundation of non-self. If we get it, we will no longer be afraid of being in debt. Conversely, an ungrateful or treacherous attitude will multiply the debt. It may take generations of our children and grandchildren to pay off that debt. Therefore, receiving is also giving and can also be borrowing more debt. We should be wise to reject gifts that we don't really need if we know our energy isn't enough to give it back. Especially for gifts created from the energy of the masses.

The Mahayana Buddhist tradition always refers to the principle of giving alms to become absolute almsgiving: "The Three Wheels of Immortality." This means that the three subjects — the almsgiver, the recipient of alms, and the gift of almsgiving — must rely on each other to be established. First, the almsgiver must see that the whole universe within them is giving alms, not the isolated self that is giving. Especially, thanks to the recipient, we can do this, so before and after giving alms in the mind there is no change. Secondly, the almsgiver must see that this gift is also made by the presence of all things, so there is no attitude to choose the high and low value of the gift to give alms. Third, the almsgiver has no distinction or demands from the recipient, only one heart for them. If all three of these things happen fully, we reach the pinnacle of almsgiving—unconditional almsgiving or pure almsgiving.

This principle can startle us, because we don't seem to have really given alms before. Most of it is just an exchange of feelings: I give you this, you have to give me that back. But that's okay. As long as we have the right idea again, try to practice the habit of observing our minds every time we want to give alms and throughout the process to prevent small attachments. In the interim, if we can't let go of our clinging attitude to the act of giving alms, at least we don't demand the object or use it for our own gain. Of course, if our minds are still disturbed, greedy and opposed, our donation will not be perfect. However, the closer we move toward that principle, the closer we will come to the truth, so that both givers and receivers benefit.

Cultural traditions always uphold two precious human qualities: blessings and virtues. Blessing is the energy generated from acting towards others to help; Germany is the energy generated from the process of transforming bad energy and promoting one's own good energy. In essence, blessing is virtue and virtue is also blessing. As we turn to others for help, we constantly observe our attitude of clinging and demanding to let go, which is both blessed and virtuous. And while returning to inner care, removing the disturbing emotions that protect the ego, becoming a cute humble person, always radiating peaceful and cool energy to everyone around him, it is both virtuous and blessed. If there is only blessing and no virtue, then that kindness is only a barter or exploitation; And if there is virtue without blessing, it is only an act of evasion, selfishness. Truth, blessing and virtue are only two sides of the same entity. That entity is selflessness—the essence of all things. Therefore, because he is also for himself and because he is also for him, because there is no distinct boundary between himself and him. Depending on the circumstances, we need to focus more on the blessed part or the virtuous part, but we must never forget their solidarity and inseparability.

Therefore, while we go back to building our inner life, we must practice how to benefit ourselves and everyone around us, even if we have not taken any concrete action to help. And while we aim to help others, we also try to practice how to make those objects truly beneficial and we ourselves feel happy, light, and serene, even though we have not formally entered the work of mental transformation. In reality, however, the practice of blessing is more likely to fail than the practice of virtue, because it is easy to cling to our supposedly noble act of giving. Therefore, returning to changing oneself before wanting to share with others, self-interest and then forgiveness, is the most reasonable way. But life doesn't always go as smoothly as we arrange. It takes a lot of intelligence and bravery for us to be able to use blessings and virtues flexibly and effectively.

A young woman came to me to consult a decision. Her dog was old, could no longer eat and drink, and lay motionless. The vet advised her not to let him live in this state anymore, to get a shot of medicine to help him go. She knew what the doctor advised was right but she couldn't. She felt sorry for the dog, because he had lived faithfully and intimately as a friend for the past fifteen years—ever since she divorced her husband and lived alone. I asked her, "If you knew the dog was in such pain and you still wanted to hold on, did you really love him or yourself?" She was silent for a long time without answering. I added: "If you use your feelings of loneliness to put yourself in the dog's misery, you will understand what he wants in the moment. If you really love him, do as he pleases. She must have the courage to accept this loss so that the object of her love may be satisfied and happy." Hearing this, she was poignant and relieved to accept.

When we hear that a loved one is dying, we often cry in panic and pray that he or she will not die. The question is, do we really want our partner to live because we know they desperately need to live, or because we're pitying our feelings of loneliness? Two completely different attitudes – one for people, one for ourselves. Sometimes we fall into a situation where we are both for others and for ourselves. But we often don't see that truth, so we always think we're devoted to the other person. Such prayer is also unlikely to succeed. One of the conditions for prayer to be successful is to focus 100% of our attention on the object. If the mind is not pure, it cannot borrow from the universe. Just as when we decide not to forgive or punish the other person, we often assume that we have to do so in order to help them awaken. But the truth is that we are controlled by hurt emotions and want to release them in retaliation. If we were purely for them, we would have infinitely more effective ways than those heavy actions. And the best way is to use sincere love to feel.

In the song Let the wind take away, musician Trinh Cong Son subtly writes: "Tilt your life down/ Look through a love affair/ Just watch silently without speaking/ To burn the heart/ To burn the heart". When we genuinely want to help someone, we have to be able to get off our shoulders and be ready to step into the other person's shoulder so that we can get close to and understand them. We must "lean down" with them because we are in a healthy state, with abundant energy, and in the donor's position. In addition, two more conditions are required. First, it must be able to observe silently without voicing reproach or accusation. Second, we need to be prepared to receive negative energies in the other person's mind that spill out at any moment – it can "burn" our hearts. Knowing that we will suffer many losses and losses while helping that we still wholeheartedly accept is because we have a big heart, a true love. True love is love that has no conditions or very few conditions. It's very lightweight. So light that the wind can sweep in a thousand directions – "Live in life/ Need a heart/ For what do you know?/ Let the wind take away/ Let the wind take away."

Love is the noblest gift that everyone needs. No matter what gift we give, it is our true heart that truly determines the true value of our giving.

All also fades
Only love stays
What is given today
Will follow each other forever.

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