As an introvert who loves creativity, art is a living part of my heartbeat, but I don't want to be seen by anyone else.

I've always been a creative person, immersed in art, music, theater, writing and the like. Encouraged to nurture a love of drawing from an early age, I eventually majored in studio art. Up until now I mainly focus on acrylic painting and nature photography.

For me, tranquility is very important for my creative mind. As an introvert, I observe for myself how creative I can be when I'm alone. But I wasn't aware of this personality type at the time, and was always trying to push myself out to fit into the extroverted world out there. So many times I was very frustrated.

It wasn't until I gradually came to understand my introverted nature that my creativity improved. Along the way, I've discovered when—and how—I would be most satisfied and successful with my creative endeavors.

Sometimes, I can laugh (or even cry) at my inner contradictions as I take a deep breath, and then step out of my comfort zone, to present my work. Honestly, I don't mind keeping my creative mind to myself, but every once in a while, there are times when I wish my creativity would magically show up and show it to everyone! Here are 08 contradictions I've discovered as a creative introvert.

08 contradictions of a creative introvert

1. It was my idea, but being recognized was someone else

I don't know how many times I've come up with an idea, only to have a friend or colleague run after it instead of putting my own stamp on it. Usually I don't mind either, because I'm not motivated by affirming my "self" or wanting attention. Also, you know, it takes an occasion to feel right for us introverts to speak up! But, sometimes...

I may not want to win an award for my efforts, but I want to be understood as a creative individual and that my ideas are valuable. Because I am a quiet person by nature, some people have taken advantage of my nature. Maybe they don't realize it, or maybe they feel as though they're helping me express my ideas to people. Honestly, I don't need anyone to help me share my ideas. I'm comfortable enough to introduce it to the world when I feel the time is right. If you stop talking about it long enough, you can hear me raise my voice!

2. Glad you liked it, but I can not take compliments

So I created this masterpiece of painting and am glad that it is appreciated by others. I want people to admire and be inspired by my work. But seriously, my little soul can't handle praise and flattery. Drawing attention to myself and being in the spotlight is not my favorite thing.

So while I want you to pay attention to my work, I don't want you to know that I know you've been paying attention.

3. Very willing to help, but don't put me in a difficult position.

Do I grimace when you ask for help drawing? It could be because you asked in front of someone else and wanted the job done immediately... And while the rest are watching!

I love helping others and sharing my creativity, but my creative thinking takes time for me to process. As an introverted artist, I can't think of anything worse than being asked to paint something on the spot. Or being "chosen" to do a task because I was the only "artist" in the room.

I visualized everything in my head and needed to take time to create art. I had to carefully consider the options in my head, sorting out what worked for me and what didn't. Consider to the smallest detail.

Oh, and I'm so sorry, but I can't do it on orders and let my anxiety go.

4. Ideas are many, but others may not understand

Typically, my creative ideas are rooted in thoughts and images in my head, which will change most drastically when I monologue my mind and resolve it.

In my head, the details for the project will gradually become perfect. But it can still be destroyed if I have to create something according to someone else's will. While I myself cannot understand the ignorance behind it.

And then in their blank stares, I was bored with my explanation and feelings.

5. Art is part of who I am, but I do not want to be seen

As a creative person, this is probably one of the hardest things for me. My art is very personal, whether it's a photograph, a painting, or a written work. When I speak out, I worry that others won't understand me or that I've revealed too much about myself. I'm a person who values privacy and never wants to be an open book. Every piece of art I create is a small part of myself that I give away freely. And sometimes my oversharing makes me wonder if I should give.

6. I know the value of my artwork, but I always think about it

Art takes time to invest, and is valuable because it is created with one's own hands and minds.

I'm often asked to price my photo shoots or sell my paintings, but I find myself putting myself down when it comes to pricing. This isn't because I don't appreciate my artwork or don't think it's worth the competitive price. I think this problem stems from feeling judged by others. It's too contradictory, isn't it?

7. No, I do not want to, but in the end I will still

In the past, I struggled with boundaries and said no to people, especially in my workplace. There will be people looking for my artistic talent at the last minute for "really simple" things. And little "simple things" add up a lot. I used to do all those "small" tasks, but this made me feel so down. Especially when I put things that need to get done aside to do something for someone else.

Again, I'm not afraid to help others and share my artistic knowledge. But sometimes I still need to learn the skill of saying "no" (although I haven't mastered it yet). Increased work pressure and new timelines will hinder the initial job. And it also causes unwanted anxiety in the mind of this anxious introvert.

Well, I've put enough pressure on myself, other people really don't need more.

8. I want to do that work, but wait: Are people involved?

It is impossible to hide the fact that I prefer to work alone. However, sometimes art projects will involve people, especially my photography adventures.

There was a time when I was so involved in portrait and wedding photography, it exhausted me! Directing a shoot and quietly composing the shots in my frame are two very different things. My anxiety right before the shoot was always sky-high! Motivating yourself before every shoot is hard. So now I am very careful when choosing my photography work, making sure I feel comfortable.

Also, I prefer to photograph locations and still lifes, rather than focusing on moving-things. The truth is, I never have to tell my flowers to pose!

After all, being creative for yourself is the most important thing

I take pride in sharing my creativity with others, but there are definitely some safe boundaries that I've unintentionally or intentionally set. Sometimes, I can be found difficult to fit in when asked to share my talents. But I really didn't mean to. I just need time and space to process requests, and I'm not afraid to coordinate with people if conditions are right.

I like the creative process the most, which is when I have full control over the thought process, product, and outcome. In other words, I love working for myself. I feel most satisfied when my creativity flows whenever the mood is inspiring.

Over the years, I've learned that I'm the happiest person when I create for myself. And follow your own artistic standards by exploring your own interests. Hopefully someone likes what I've created, wants to buy art, or is inspired by my work. It's truly a precious gift!

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