The Importance of Honesty in Relationships

To love each other is to understand each other. If you want to understand each other, you have to trust each other. If you want to trust each other, you have to be honest with each other.

People are increasingly inclined towards enjoyment, always looking for good feelings from material comfort and admiration of those around them, so few people are conscious of preserving honesty. Although everyone knows that honesty is a virtue and everyone expects others to be honest with them, once caught up in life's endless cycle of contention, honesty is the fundamental obstacle to success. Many people even dare to declare that living in the middle of society now and trying to remain honest is a very naïve attitude. According to them, it is necessary to be clever and skillful in each action to be awake and hope to succeed.

Then people come together with spectacular performances, from polished words to cute elegant acts. As long as we win over the enemy, even if we have to mold things that are completely contrary to the truth, we will not hesitate. It's funny that our most loyal audience is our dearest. One day, when we no longer have the strength to act, the lipstick will fall on its own, and the trust in love will fall as well. Even if we try to justify it with all sincerity, it is very difficult to bring their minds back to where they were. Unless it is someone with great understanding and compassion, they will accept and forgive us. Even so, the wound in them is still there. Later, if we want to declare something important, they will still take precautions and reconsider. It's not as easy for them to give us all their trust as they used to.

Granted, life sometimes needs wisdom. But a little. We should only use it in cases where the other person is not ready to accept the truth, not in the habit of adding a layer of fake lipstick to ourselves. And even if we have to use technical techniques to solve the problem, we also have a responsibility to find other opportunities to present the truth. Don't wait for the other person to find out, I'll be guilty of cheating. One of the reasons we have faith in life is that every word we utter is heard and believed by others. And there's nothing quite as comfortable as living with people we don't need to scrutinize or deal with in any way. Just look at each other and understand each other. Because, if you want to love each other, you must understand each other. If you want to understand each other, you have to trust each other. If you want to trust each other, you have to be honest with each other.

In fact, honest people are easily taken advantage of or overwhelmed by bad guys. But the universe is inherently fair. Honest people are also the ones who always have the luckiest things in life, and they never go to the end because they are harmed by others. So, let's not because of a few small failures when we are honest and try to build ourselves a habit of being defensive or dishonest with people. If we lose our rights, we still have a thousand ways to restore them, but if we lose our true innocence, we won't know how to find them again. Without that divine innocence, we would have a false view of all objects and circumstances, and then we would blame this life as a fantasy. Obviously, fantasy is woven by man's own crazy mind, not the essence of life. Because life is beautiful.

There are no precise rules to help us know when to be honest, or how much to be honest. Because everyone's concept of happiness is different. If we assume that happiness is about having a lot of money or power, then surely we cannot be honest as a kind of hallows in the midst of life's fierce competition. Only those who see true happiness from their own peaceful hearts, from letting go of unnecessary desires or oppositions, will they resolutely protect their souls. They would rather allow things to be spoiled than definitely not let their minds spoil. Because the mind is a hundred thousand times more difficult to fix than it is damaged. And if we are successful and our minds are broken, we cannot be happy.

However, sometimes we are confused when faced with the choice of whether to remain honest or continue to step into the role to gain more rights. Because our internal forces are not always strong enough to tame the external forces of gravity that agitate our seeds of greed. It was a very tough struggle. He who has a strong will towards the highest value of life can hope to defend his rational mind. But practice shows that the use of willpower is not always successful. We can't try to impose good truth on our awareness when it's falling too low. Even if we are determined to live with an honest mind, the energy of our habit of concealment and falsehood can still knock down our will as usual.

So if we want to master ourselves, we have to understand ourselves. To understand ourselves, we must not use our willpower to mold our minds into a good product and then deceive ourselves. We get angry without admitting that we're angry. I'm jealous and try to think I'm trying to compete. I'm weak and I think I'm suffering. The reason we don't see ourselves is because of the hasty intervention of willpower. Because willpower is the capacity for good, it is made of accumulated experience and knowledge. While reality is something very different from the level of willpower. And the will itself can only inhibit the development of disturbing emotions, not transform them. Therefore, willpower not only does not help us in this case, but also makes us misjudge our qualifications. We'll become subjective and we'll be surprised by our awkward reactions without understanding why.

Therefore, looking into our minds also requires an honest attitude. When we don't know how to properly dismantle it, let's see it as it is. Don't force it to be this or that. That honest look is often called intuition — it looks like it's the first time. It's a look that hasn't gone through the stuffing of the mind, a look that doesn't carry an attitude that protects one's ego. Eliminating the attitude of love or hate while observing our minds is sure to see its truth. We will see clearly what root causes motivate and create the psychology we have. Just by being silent and watching the movie slowly unfold, we will understand every piece of psychology from smuggled to subtle. This requires persistent practice, not quick success. However, when we begin to be honest with ourselves, accept what we have, and then seek to dismantle rather than deny or suppress, it is already an extremely important step in the work of transforming our minds.

In the past, we've also been determined to improve ourselves. But over the years we have made no progress, sometimes even falling back. The biggest reason is that we only use our willpower, not accepting the level we have. We even despise ourselves, always guilty when we see bad energies appear in our minds. Remember, it's the result of our own unconscious lifestyle. We can't dictate it to change when we haven't really practiced it hard enough and long enough to build a new habit that lasts. Therefore, the most important condition for transforming our vices is to understand and accept them as part of who we are. But to understand them, the best way is to be gentle and friendly with them. You even have to see them as friends.

People who are known as long-time morals or practitioners are often prone to fall into this trap. They are born with all their energy to try to be holy, while the gap between holiness and their current level is quite far. Sometimes, it is their eagerness to be holy that obscures their true consciousness. They admire and deeply inject the valuable experience of their seniors, accidentally they think it is their level. They are unable to forgive their narrow-minded and obstinate hearts, but strive to stick a brand of compassion in their minds. So outwardly they have forgiven, but their hearts are still full of anger. This "autistic" attitude is a huge obstacle to the discovery of truth. To reach the truth, we must live true to it, not use intelligence to grasp, imagine, or try to mold our minds.

Of course, we don't always have the opportunity to observe our minds honestly. We also have to deal with people, we also struggle for more comfort, so sometimes we have to use our willpower to temporarily overcome or cover up our disturbing emotions. To gain one we must lose another, which is the inevitable law of life. However, we still have time to heal our hearts if after that reluctant performance we look back and remind ourselves that we will try not to do it again. As long as we have a strong sense of what is the value of true happiness and what is the noble purpose of life, we will surely have more opportunities to live with our true minds. We will be willing to reject anything that harms the precious seeds in our souls. Because we know very well that what is built on an insincere foundation will not last long. And it is a great obstacle that prevents us from getting close to each other.

Thus, the highest art of living is not the skill of molding one's mind into some kind of good model without the foundation of true transformation. From now on, let's try to master the skill of seeing our minds clearly at all times. Remember to observe it repeatedly in a gentle and gracious manner without molding or suppression. Practicing like that, the chances of mastering yourself are very high. When we master ourselves, we have more opportunities to hold happiness within reach. We will no longer complain about how there are so many annoyances or changes in this life. Living with a true soul means that we are officially in harmony with the workings of the universe. It is the way of life of intellectuals, the dream of so many people who have not found the true value of happiness from the dramatic tons of life.

Although we have not found the true innocent person, we are sure that it is still intact and has not disappeared. Because there are times when our hearts are really quiet, without the shadow of ambition and opposition, we suddenly see it appear as if it has never been far away – "Sometimes when we come back from the garden late at night, everyone's feet are very light, like the soul of old years" (Embryo – Trinh Cong Son).

Thank you heaven and earth
Let me be about me
Years as a traveler
Deeply the pain of life.

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