The Difference Between Selfish Lust and True Love

Understanding the Heart: Embracing Compassion and Resilience | Dedication Unveiled

Satisfying lust is the most perfect selfishness. Because although he enjoys it, he finds himself disadvantaged soon after.

When we and our partner come together out of genuine sympathy, willing to share with each other difficulties and offer joy, it is true love. But if we are consumed by the images and voices of the other person, making us dream, always longing to see each other, even longing to touch each other physically, it shows that we are entering the stage of love. Emotions now lean toward sexuality. Imagination also magnifies emotions many times over, making us feel like there is nothing more wonderful in the world.

At that time, from deep within us arises a very strange energy, which makes us both happy and confused. Everything in me is almost turned upside down. We no longer maintain our balance and self-control when we sit alone, when working, or interacting with anyone else. Then, the feeling of love in us suddenly wants to be sublimated. It motivates us to associate with his voluntary feelings. This resonance will increase to the highest level when the two parties accept to give themselves to each other, the desire to strengthen relations with each other, which is actually the state of wanting to interact highly and emotionally bind each other. If this union is not on the basis of true love, it is only an exploitation or an emotional exchange. And that's the difference of love — wanting to enjoy emotions while also wanting to take responsibility for each other's lives.

Yet when we decide to give ourselves, we are often only concerned with our desire to taste the most soaring emotion of love without any awareness (or vague sense of responsibility). Why take responsibility when you both voluntarily share your feelings? Just remind each other to be careful not to let conception happen, no one will lose anything! But the reality is not so simple. The emotion of love breaks down after the two bodies are in harmony together, which will disturb the entire mental mechanism of both parties violently. It arises suddenly a series of complex psychology such as anger, jealousy, suspicion, fear, loss Because deep down, each side implicitly wants to "exclusively" own the other to get back what precious things have been given to each other. In addition, when we easily reach the peak of our emotions, we lose the inspiration and goodwill to understand and love each other more deeply, to build stronger relationships. Therefore, when the emotional satisfaction in us weakens or shifts, betrayal is very likely.

In any emotional relationship, there needs to be guidance, the strong side will pull the other party along. Once we misdirect, instead of helping each other develop understanding and energy to overcome our instincts and be in harmony with people and life, we move our lovers alone toward enjoyment to unknowingly become "emotional addicts." So sooner or later that love will run out of energy and die. Both ended up with injuries that the female side was often more severe. Because the psychophysiological structure of the "weak sex" is very sensitive but fragile, it is very vulnerable. Even worse, the mind develops a very sensitive mechanism of desire and it defaults to the level of satisfaction it has achieved. This will torment us more or less during the time we have to live alone. If we quickly find another object without actually transforming that energy of desire, we will certainly be more likely to repeat the old path, or it will be bumpy when the new object leans towards the principles of the mind rather than the emotions of the heart.

In Vietnamese cultural tradition, a wife is never allowed to change her clothes in front of her husband. Although they have lived together for a long time, they still respect each other as guests (mutual respect as Tan). They are husband and wife, but when they have physical contact, they still maintain many very formal procedures, so that the other person understands that the two bodies are only in harmony, when the two souls are truly in harmony. However, Nguyen Du has very strange verses: "While winging branches / Cheap heart has set aside" (The Tale of Kieu). Indeed, without subtlety, understanding, and a full exchange of affection, behind that sublimated layer of emotion arises great contempt for each other's insatiable lust or easy indulgence. This disrespect is the root cause of conflicts that are nowhere in the couple's life. So it can be said that satisfying lust is the most perfect selfishness. Because although I enjoy it, I find myself disadvantaged right after the ending.

Let alone that our partner and I have not formally declared our responsibility to live together before the community, nor through dignified forms of family tradition, law or religion, to force both parties to try to extinguish other calculated provisions to ensure fidelity. Therefore, "giving oneself to destiny" is a very wise principle to protect the happiness of the couple. Only when we formally "send destiny" do we accept "giving ourselves". These two are inseparable. Therefore, the wedding ceremony also becomes important and necessary for family, friends, and neighbors to prove the day we officially give our lives to each other. Collective energy will give us strength, helping us overcome many challenges and difficulties in our married life. Thinking about that day, we will be less likely to decide to leave each other before we have the strength to move on.

In Western society, people live together sometimes for five or seven years before getting married. That day may never happen, because they no longer see its sacred meaning. Maybe it's because they've bored each other before. The stronger the economic development in countries, the higher the number of adolescent suicides. Most of those young people are victims of relationship breakdowns while cohabiting. They can't stand the feeling of playing when there is no room for emotional habit and find it hurtful when their ego is rejected. It was one of the greatest tragedies of our time. The more conditions of enjoyment there are, the weaker one becomes; The more civilized, the more people retreat to the wild instinctive way of life. When young people lose faith in family and life happiness, they are more likely to fall victim to lost loneliness. Therefore, it is also easy for them to let themselves down the path of irresponsible enjoyment.

A true love must always show vitality, it cannot be a passion that disturbs life, destroys health, destroys intellect and destroys ideals. Suppose there is a person who loves us little but respects a lot and someone who loves us a lot but respects little, which one would we choose? The person who loves us a lot will certainly bring us feelings of satisfaction, but it will also be easy to leave us to deal with the painful consequences at any time. Only those who respect us wholeheartedly have a sense of responsibility for our lives. To be responsible for each other is to truly love each other.

If we have seen the suffering caused by unprincipled acts of sensual gratification, let us henceforth commit ourselves not to give ourselves to someone who is not our spouse. We do not approve of those who betray our marriage commitments and also learn from a sense of responsibility to protect everyone's happiness and safety. In addition, we are determined to prevent adultery from continuing to cause family and social breakdown. If all young people everywhere practiced like this, the world would save a huge amount of energy. That energy is devoted to rebuilding the civilized way of life.

O fragrant
flower Beautiful smile
Looking at each other cautiously
Beautiful of love.