Understanding the heart - Fairness

Why do we keep complaining and demanding of life, but have we ever wondered what life needs from us?

In villages in the past, when doing crops, farmers could ask some people in the village to help without paying. As long as the other party does the season, or repairs the house, or any other hard work, one party will come over to help. That's called rhyme. It's a good way. Although people also rely on the number of sessions or the number of days worked to determine the level of fairness, they do not strictly distinguish the working capacity of each person. Even when we're on paycheck, if we suddenly fall ill or our family has an emergency so we have to stop working, they still sneer. They still give me the full credit. On the other hand, if the crop fails so they can't pay us, we're happy to wait for the next crop, or as long as they can. The people of the countryside understand that this exchange is relative, not as long as the other person helps us and we help it is to pay it off. The love is still there, never pays off.

In the age of civilization now, the conception of fairness is very strange. When someone wholeheartedly guides us into the profession in the first few surprising steps, facilitates us in our business, or shares in times of danger, we immediately give them an expensive gift or we invite them to eat in a fancy restaurant as if they have paid off. No one owes anyone anymore. But if the other person has helped us selflessly, with all our sincerity, and we see it as equal to those inanimate material things, don't ask why they are hurt. It's better not to do that, because they think we still have that grace in our hearts. The gift or meal will be happily accepted if they see its meaning in our thoughts and attitudes. Some people think that's unfair. But they are acceptable, even if we don't have a chance to make up for it until later. Because they did not advocate fair exchange from the beginning, let alone fair.

The concept of fairness is often easily confused with fairness. You get one and I get one, or you give me two, I give you two, that's fair. But depending on each society and era, the law of justice will be expressed differently. Fairness is often conditioned on an emotional level. Therefore, it is sometimes self-stipulated to be fair if the two parties agree on the proportionate value of the exchange, without following the common convention of the community. For example, one squash can be exchanged for two bitter melons; a redeemable ferry with six echoes; one painting can be exchanged for ten gourds of wine; A sincere promise can be exchanged for three hundred and sixty-five days of waiting. Although that exchange is considered fair, both parties implicitly understand that the other person out of sympathy accepts such an exchange, so when we have the opportunity, we will make up for it. While fairness is about eliminating the notion of wanting to compensate, paying is enough, period.

Of course, in the larger marketplace, there was a need for clarity on the material values to be exchanged, so a monetary regime was established to simplify and expand trade. Therefore, fairness has inadvertently become the rule. But so much hard work to make a bowl of pure white rice that is only exchanged for a few extra silver coins cannot be called fair. Fairness is even more absurd. Remember, exchange is never absolute, it's all convention. Therefore, it is wrong to assume that disengagement, honesty or condescension are economically harmful factors that should be eliminated. In the principle of the natural operation of the universe, everything is constantly relying on each other to survive. Therefore, isolation and fairness will never occur even if people deliberately mold it to serve their own selfish interests.

There are children who find themselves fulfilling their duties by providing adequate food and medicine each month, or buying a spacious house for their parents. So when parents need them to come over often, or help with some errands, they complain why they have to do so much. "Parents love me / I adopt you in the days," those two verses are still a heartbreaking reality in any age, especially today. When people are attracted to fame, it is easier for them to overlook or dismiss other factors that they perceive as detrimental. But isn't it a right to love and care for your parents? There are not so many orphans in this world who crave their parents to be loved and cared for, whatever they have to trade, they are willing to accept. We must have waited until we had children, and sacrificed a hundred hardships, especially when our children were sick or unruly, before we could fully appreciate our parents' love for us. At that time, the idea of "paying off debts" to the begotten was too foolish.

In our marriage relationship, too, we want fairness so that we don't feel like we're being taken advantage of or sacrificed meaninglessly. I do this, you have to do that; I've already paid so now it's your turn; why do I have to worry about so many things and you are all the time; If you only take care of your family, don't blame me for neglecting household chores; If you torment me, I will torment you... So when a marriage breaks down, people quickly see each other as two strangers, unaware of each other's current difficulties. They used to love each other deeply and then suddenly became hateful towards each other, not wanting to look at each other even if they accidentally met. So bad that they go to the newspapers to smear each other's honor or put things against each other. The most heartbreaking thing is that when dividing assets, they always demand clarity and fairness. Years of conjugal love suddenly melted into smoke when everyone wanted to fight for their gains, right, and victories.

All of these responses represent narrow-minded selfishness, rather than reasonable fairness. Property can be divided equally, but how can it be measured? Although the love story has come to an end, like it or not, everything we have given each other will follow each other forever. If we owe too much love to one person, we will definitely have to pay another. Because all are in the ancient cycle of cause and effect of heaven and earth that no one can escape.

The leaf never thought it could pay off the tree's debt of love, even though it had wholeheartedly absorbed the sun to painstakingly refine the raw resin into resin to feed the tree. For the leaf has observed and seen the fact that it has never ceased to receive the love of the plant. Although the tree is old, the tree still tries to sink the roots deep into the ground to suck minerals to feed the leaf. Assuming the leaf repays the love of the tree, it cannot pay off the love of the sun, wind, water, minerals, compost, insects and everything around it. All of these elements may seem to be outside the leaf, but they are still nourishing the leaf hour by minute. The leaf only has to live so that it can live its whole life, live it cutely and do its duty well. I'm no different from a leaf. Nor can we ever repay the love that this life has given us, directly or indirectly. So why do we keep complaining and demanding life, but have we ever wondered what life needs from us?

Like a river that flows forever
Always heavy with silt
Have you ever asked
: What does life need from me?

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